Pre-internet, living in the country with four kids, a three channel-TV and a party line phone, my mom was the queen of the daily routine. She kept to a weekly schedule, featuring rotating menus (cold cereal on Tues/Thur, pancakes on Saturday) and chores (laundry on Tues-Thur, vacuuming on Friday). Mid-morning, she did her exercises along with Jack LaLanne, afternoons were for ironing clothes while watching the soaps (One Life to Live and General Hospital), and she took a coffee break at 3pm before making dinner. I always wished she was happier, but her discipline and structure got her through. She even dressed and put her make-up on to take us to the bus-stop, often wearing her 50s-era leopard print coat.
I’ve thought of her so much this week, especially this morning after living room yoga, when I threw on this poncho to go check on the Red-shouldered hawk who nests in a tree a few blocks away (I bought the poncho on a whim while in San Luis Obispo a couple months ago but just made the connection today.) Daily routines have been helping me out these weeks, as I both appreciate all I have in my sheltering place and worry about the world. Take care everyone! “All Signs”
https://deborahcrooks.bandcamp.com/track/all-signs
In the night I hear the rain
Think of how she said my name
Something about the sound of falling water
How I never felt quite her daughter
All signs lead back to mother
To remind and recover
More to a book than its cover
If I only turn the page
Don’t go in past your knees
Tide might take you away
Ota sin svetog duha
The words we learned to pray
Caution was her superpower
After all she couldn’t swim
Fear a shield of protection
Hope’s dark twin
All signs lead back to mother
I couldn’t help but reflect her
But a mirror could not protect her
And a frame can be a cage
Tejee graja mala
All us bad little girls
Just might grow into women
Who can heal the whole wide world
All signs lead back to mother
To remind and recover
Choose to resent or forgive her
Go ahead now, turn the page